Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Still trying to figure it out

My job situation has changed, as some of you may know, and my hours have been reduced from 40 t0 24. That is quite a change.

I had mused to my husband that maybe God was trying to teach us to be frugal, to prepare us for retirement, to make us depend on Him more.

That all sounded good at the time. Logical, spiritual, calm.

Last night, or rather, this morning, I woke up at 4:30am and had a melt down. Anxiety overwhelmed me. Logical, spiritual and calm flew out the window. I worried and prayed until 5:30 and I finally got up. I worried about paying our bills, would we lose the house, can we afford our prescriptions, all of that. I prayed for God to help my unbelief, to give me strength, to depend on Him and truly believe that He will take care of us. My prayers felt empty and desperate. I wasn't sure God was listening. I could understand if he was not listening. I was not sounding very trusting of Him.

My husband got up later and heard the whole story. It helped to tell him my concerns. Together we talked about what we could do to cut costs without having to give up our home or give up eating (which I am very fond of!) God showed us several things and I felt at peace.

He will take care of us. I know he will. That's not to say I won't have periodic melt-downs and doubts but we will get through it.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Amazing Saturday

For weeks a group of women from my church have been working on a Women's Conference based on the book "Sacred Pathways" by Gary Thomas. We had read it and discussed it together and decided that the ideas needed to be shared.

The premise of the book is that we all connect to God in different ways and that each way is acceptable to God. There is the Traditionalist, the Intellectual, the Enthusiast, the Sensate, the Activist, the Caregiver, the Ascetic, the Contemplative and the Naturalist.

Our work came to fruition Saturday morning at 9:00am. We had about 20 women in attendance.
We began with the Traditionalist and ended with the Sensate. My part was the Enthusiast. We connect with God through enthusiastic worship - songs, dance, instruments, prayer and anticipation.

Each woman's section was unique and wonderful and even if it was not the way I connect with God, it gave me an insight into the people who use other pathways. We even went out to a park to find God in nature. Even though the wind was a little chilly, everyone enjoyed it.

We ended the day with the Sensate. The person who finds God through her senses - sight, smell, sound, touch and taste. We had several stations to experience these senses - hand washing (we decided against foot washing!), communion, annointing with oil, candles to light and a place to pray. While we were doing that music played and beautiful pictures of women in the Bible were displayed on the screens. It was inspiring.

When we parted at 4:30 or so, we had all bonded in a special way.

I encourage any of you out there to create a workshop or conference for the women in your church and see what wonderful things God will do with it - far beyond what you could hope for or imagine.