Marriage

You may wonder at the name of the website - woman at the well. Those of you who are familiar with the Bible will know the incident where Jesus meets a Samaritan woman at a well and asks for a drink of water. She has been married many times and is shunned by the community. But Jesus not only talks to her, he also knows all about her and loves her anyway.

Well, I identify with her in several ways.

When I first started attending the Church I currently attend, I was careful to keep my little secret just that. I felt that if people knew, I would be judged harshly. So I told no one. After a couple of years, a lady who was the head of our dramas, asked me to play a part for Easter. She asked me to play the woman at the well. I was amazed. God has a way of putting you on the spot sometimes. It was a soliloquy and I memorized the part with great difficulty. I think I gave a pretty good performance. The point is that it spoke to my heart and my secret.

Counting my current husband, I have been married 4 times. The first was less than 2 years, the next was about 4 years and the third was 8 years. I am now married for 14 1/2 years and this is the final one. Divorce is not an option.

I have learned a lot over the years. One is that everyone sins and falls short of the glory of God. That my mistakes do not effect how God loves me or who I am as a person.

I also learned that marriage is not a give and take relationship, it is a give and give relationship. The more I give to satisfy the needs of my husband, the happier I am. And the more he gives back. Marriage or any relationship is not successful if you are selfish. I witness that many people treat strangers better than they treat their spouses. Most people would not yell at or degrade a friend or stranger but they do it to their spouse. Odd!

I am not proud of my many marriages but it is not something I hide like a dirty secret anymore. It has made me who I am today. I have learned from each one and have taken those lessons into my current marriage to make it better and stronger.

That drama skit year ago made me realize that even though Jesus may not be happy with the things that I do, he does forgive me. And that's all that matters.