Well, it finally happened. I knew it was coming but now it's finally here.
They cut my hours at work to 24. I will work Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. That is not enough to pay our bills. I will have to find a part time job or a whole new job. I hate the thought of interiews and such. My age is not working in my favor either. Not many companies looking for a 61 year old manager.
At Bible Study on Sunday, I requested prayer for God's guidance in this (knowing that something was going to happen). I am now trusting in him to provide. That is not an easy thing for a "take charge" kind of person like I am.
On one hand, I will have more time to do the things I need to do around the house and I can save money by doing more cooking and less eating out. I might even find my missing manuscript. Who knows!?
On the other hand, I would like to have a job. Actually, I would like to hit the Lottery and I may have as good a shot at that as I do finding another job!!
I'll have to wait and see what the net paycheck will be before I make a decision.
I could use your prayers for God's guidance and provision.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I have a book in me somewhere
Years ago I started a book. It was so long ago that is was typed on a typewriter! Wow!
It is a fictional story based on my grandfather's life in the late 1800's. He was born in 1870. I read the story he wrote about his life when he was in his 80's and thought it was fascinating. It sparked my imagination. Sort of a male version of Little House on the Prairie with 11 siblings.
I had written about 50 pages and now I can't find it. I am sick about that. I know it has to be in the house somewhere. Paper and ink do not sprout legs and walk off but I have looked everywhere. Well, obviously not everywhere or I would have found it.
Maybe it's God's way of saying I should start over or start something new. I don't know.
Pray for me to find my story or to have the will to start a new story.
Have you ever misplaced something and felt that God was trying to direct you through that?
It is a fictional story based on my grandfather's life in the late 1800's. He was born in 1870. I read the story he wrote about his life when he was in his 80's and thought it was fascinating. It sparked my imagination. Sort of a male version of Little House on the Prairie with 11 siblings.
I had written about 50 pages and now I can't find it. I am sick about that. I know it has to be in the house somewhere. Paper and ink do not sprout legs and walk off but I have looked everywhere. Well, obviously not everywhere or I would have found it.
Maybe it's God's way of saying I should start over or start something new. I don't know.
Pray for me to find my story or to have the will to start a new story.
Have you ever misplaced something and felt that God was trying to direct you through that?
Saturday, April 10, 2010
SPRING TIME
SPRING TIME
I love warm weather and the smell of the warm, fresh earth and the flowers and the trees.
Today the temperature was warm and the sun was shining and I went out and tackled my long neglected garden. I filled our trash bin and one paper lawn sack with debris. What fun!
The garden looks wonderful with its new growth and its fresh brown dirt. It lifted my spirits. I am amazed that these tiny green things survived our harsh Nebraska winter and pushed again up through the soil to drink in the sunshine and wave gently in the breeze. I am overcome with joy.
When I look at my garden and all the growing things at this time of year, I imagine what God felt like when he created it all. How happy he must have been to see it all come together. "He saw that it was good." What an understatement! It is more than good, it is awesome!
When I am taking care of my garden, I am taking care of God's creation and I love it.
As the garden matures, I will post some pictures. I am not a master gardener by any means but I am a happy one.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Life changes
I wrote awhile ago about my brother and my dilemma with him. Last week, I broke down. I could not take it any more. I called my sister and she agreed to take over the "care and feeding" of our brother. I have been responsible since our mother died in 2002.
I was so relieved and I could not believe the happiness I felt. Then came the guilt.
I love my brother but he was sucking the life out of me. Everytime the phone rang and it was him, my whole demeanor changed and I became a different person who I didn't like very much. Think Cruella Divile or Leona Helmsley. Not a pretty picture and not like my normal personality (or at least I would like to think so!)
He called sometimes 3 or 4 times a day. It was exhausting.
My sister and I agreed that I would not talk to him until I felt stronger and more able to deal with his neediness. That is hard. He called last night while we were out and left a message. Just hearing his voice triggered the guilt again.
It is also hard to hand the responsibility over to my "little" sister. I have always protected her and now she is taking that role for me. Very odd.
When God works a miracle on my soul, I will be able to talk to my brother just as his sister and that will be wonderful.
Pray for me.
I was so relieved and I could not believe the happiness I felt. Then came the guilt.
I love my brother but he was sucking the life out of me. Everytime the phone rang and it was him, my whole demeanor changed and I became a different person who I didn't like very much. Think Cruella Divile or Leona Helmsley. Not a pretty picture and not like my normal personality (or at least I would like to think so!)
He called sometimes 3 or 4 times a day. It was exhausting.
My sister and I agreed that I would not talk to him until I felt stronger and more able to deal with his neediness. That is hard. He called last night while we were out and left a message. Just hearing his voice triggered the guilt again.
It is also hard to hand the responsibility over to my "little" sister. I have always protected her and now she is taking that role for me. Very odd.
When God works a miracle on my soul, I will be able to talk to my brother just as his sister and that will be wonderful.
Pray for me.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Stop the World I want to get off
That was the title of a movie in the 70s. I don't remember what it was about but the title somehow fits my life right now.
Currently:
I am applying for a home equity loan to pay off some credit card debt. We are trying to be debt free by the time we retire and this will make it happen. The bank needs so much information but I am close to being ready to submit the application this next week.
I am tring to get papers together to take to my accountant to get my taxes done. It used to be so simple. When did it get so complicated?
I am in charge of publicity for a Quilt Show at our church. I don't know how I volunteered for that. Sometimes I speak before I think. anyway, I sent out 13 emails and 7 mailings on Thursday night. I have 26 quilt shops in Nebraska to contact and send brochures to. Then I will hit the fabric stores, hotels and chamber of commerce here in town.
I am part of a Women's Conference in May and wrote the first draft of my talk last night.
I am the Moderator of my church which is like head of the Deacon board. I have an All Church Meeting coming up in 2 weeks and I set up the agenda last night and sent some By Law language to my board to review.
This morning I am going to a brunch with a group of PEOs. This should be fun but it is just another thing to do. I will leave at 8:30 and be back home about noon. Then the lady who is planning the Quilt Show will come over at 1:00pm to help with the publicity.
Oh, I need to run and get in the shower so I am ready when they pick me up.
Did I mention that I also work full time? My job is OK but not something that I wake up and face with excitement. I am counting the days until I can retire. Let me see that would be 3,102 days to be exact.
Oh yes, I almost forgot, I teach Sunday School, sing on the Praise Team almost every week and handle my brother's finances.
In June, I plan to say no to everything and run away.
Currently:
I am applying for a home equity loan to pay off some credit card debt. We are trying to be debt free by the time we retire and this will make it happen. The bank needs so much information but I am close to being ready to submit the application this next week.
I am tring to get papers together to take to my accountant to get my taxes done. It used to be so simple. When did it get so complicated?
I am in charge of publicity for a Quilt Show at our church. I don't know how I volunteered for that. Sometimes I speak before I think. anyway, I sent out 13 emails and 7 mailings on Thursday night. I have 26 quilt shops in Nebraska to contact and send brochures to. Then I will hit the fabric stores, hotels and chamber of commerce here in town.
I am part of a Women's Conference in May and wrote the first draft of my talk last night.
I am the Moderator of my church which is like head of the Deacon board. I have an All Church Meeting coming up in 2 weeks and I set up the agenda last night and sent some By Law language to my board to review.
This morning I am going to a brunch with a group of PEOs. This should be fun but it is just another thing to do. I will leave at 8:30 and be back home about noon. Then the lady who is planning the Quilt Show will come over at 1:00pm to help with the publicity.
Oh, I need to run and get in the shower so I am ready when they pick me up.
Did I mention that I also work full time? My job is OK but not something that I wake up and face with excitement. I am counting the days until I can retire. Let me see that would be 3,102 days to be exact.
Oh yes, I almost forgot, I teach Sunday School, sing on the Praise Team almost every week and handle my brother's finances.
In June, I plan to say no to everything and run away.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Teach my your ways, O Lord
I have a daily "Inspiration and Motivation" book that I keep at my desk.
The other morning after a particularly difficult meeting, I was reading that days bit of wisdom.
It made me laugh and it made me think. It said:
"Lord, help me get along with the difficult people in my life...especially those who are probably praying this prayer about me right now!"
It made me realize that, to others, I may be the difficult person in their lives. I don't think that makes a very good witness for Christ. I need to do better about seeing the other person's perspective and thinking before I speak. These are not my gifts.
I can be stubborn, hard headed and opinionated. And back East, where I grew up, that was OK. But in the Midwest, it is not.
I will remember my little prayer above and do better in the days and weeks ahead. How about you?
The other morning after a particularly difficult meeting, I was reading that days bit of wisdom.
It made me laugh and it made me think. It said:
"Lord, help me get along with the difficult people in my life...especially those who are probably praying this prayer about me right now!"
It made me realize that, to others, I may be the difficult person in their lives. I don't think that makes a very good witness for Christ. I need to do better about seeing the other person's perspective and thinking before I speak. These are not my gifts.
I can be stubborn, hard headed and opinionated. And back East, where I grew up, that was OK. But in the Midwest, it is not.
I will remember my little prayer above and do better in the days and weeks ahead. How about you?
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Lenten Sacrifice
My husband and I gave up watching TV for Lent.
It was a hard decision and, because it was so hard, we were convinced that it needed to be done.
We are now at the end of the first week and it has been amazing. The quiet is overwhelming sometimes and we do listen to music either on the radio or a CD.
We have talked more in the last week than we have in the last year. It is wonderful to re-connect with my spouse. This was a benefit I had not expected but am enjoying very much.
Before giving up the TV, we would eat breakfast and dinner with the TV on and hardly say a word to each other. Now we talk about our day and other things that are on our minds. Who knew??
It has also been less stressful to not hear all the news. News programs are mostly negative and filled with doom and gloom. It's nice to not have that forced into our ears. We read the newspaper - with the newspaper you can decide to read an article or not. It's very freeing.
I am also looking forward to evenings where we can do things around the house without being glued to the TV. Most of the time the programs we watched were not worth our time.
I hope when Lent is over, we will be more discerning about our viewing and watch less TV and continue our dialogue about life.
It was a hard decision and, because it was so hard, we were convinced that it needed to be done.
We are now at the end of the first week and it has been amazing. The quiet is overwhelming sometimes and we do listen to music either on the radio or a CD.
We have talked more in the last week than we have in the last year. It is wonderful to re-connect with my spouse. This was a benefit I had not expected but am enjoying very much.
Before giving up the TV, we would eat breakfast and dinner with the TV on and hardly say a word to each other. Now we talk about our day and other things that are on our minds. Who knew??
It has also been less stressful to not hear all the news. News programs are mostly negative and filled with doom and gloom. It's nice to not have that forced into our ears. We read the newspaper - with the newspaper you can decide to read an article or not. It's very freeing.
I am also looking forward to evenings where we can do things around the house without being glued to the TV. Most of the time the programs we watched were not worth our time.
I hope when Lent is over, we will be more discerning about our viewing and watch less TV and continue our dialogue about life.
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